August 28, 2009

I’m a Slacker

Posted in sex tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 4:18 pm by Femme Mystique

I’ll admit it.  I’ve been a slacker when it comes to updating this blog recently.  Too often my evenings have been filled with HGTV marathons, delicious vegan cooking, and settling into my new home with my partner.

To top it all off, I have the added distractions of Top Chef and Project Runway, too.  And to think before I moved my TV wasn’t even plugged into the wall.  Oh well.

I will be better from now on, dear followers.  Expect some new sex-related goodness in the very near future.  Keep your eyes peeled: it’s coming.

August 25, 2009

Sex Toy Review: Ruffle Top and Gartered Rhumba Shorts by Leg Avenue

Posted in sex, Sex Education, Sex Toys tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 3:06 am by Femme Mystique

Leg Avenue Lingerie

Good lingerie has an amazing way of giving the wearer an extra boost of confidence.  I’d never owned lingerie before, so I thought it would be something new and different to experience with my partner.

When it comes to underwear, I don’t like thongs or G-strings, so I was really pleased to find that this set came with cute “boy shorts” style bottoms.  These bottoms I found to be both comfortable and flattering, and I loved the detachable garters, which meant I could wear the set with or without stockings.  The ruffles on the bottom–which also appear as an accent on the top–are especially cute.

One thing I was worried about was the top.  The small is recommended for an A or B cup, and I am a DD.  Though it was obvious the top had been designed for someone less busty, the top still supported and looked attractive.

The construction of these garments is also better than I had originally anticipated.  Though they are of a very delicate nylon mesh, they appear to be fairly sturdy and have thus far showed no signs of wear.

As far as sizing goes, this set seems to be fairly true to size.  I am a ladies’ size 2 to 4, and Leg Avenue’s size small fits me very well.

Overall, I think this is an amazing, very sexy set of lingerie that has left me wanting to try more.  Both my partner and I thought it was a great way to try something different and both noticed the added confidence that wearing it seemed to give me.

product picture
Bra and gartered panty set by Leg Avenue
Material: Nylon

July 27, 2009

Sex Toy Review: Elements Omega by Tantus

Posted in 1, sex, Sex Toys tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 2:17 am by Femme Mystique

TAN5074

How to use it:
Elements Omega is a diminutive strap-on compatible dildo from Tantus.  Though the base allows it to be used in a harness, I would not recommend it for this purpose.  My partner found the end to be too pointy when used in a situation where there is less control, such as in a harness.  It is great for use manually, with or without the vibrating component.  Alternately, I enjoyed this dildo in the internal holder of the harness we own, the Pleasure Principle Deluxe.  There it can provide internal vibrations for the harness wearer without the pain that could be caused by vigorous thrusting.  This dildo is also safe for anal use, though I did not test it this way.

Construction:
The Elements Omega is made out of 100% silicone.  The silicone has some give, and it is softer than many Tantus products.  It is not, however, as soft as Fun Factory silicone, for example.  It is 4-1/2″ of insertable length and 1″ in diameter, which some may find to be too small.  I generally prefer toys of about 1-1/4″ in diameter, but found this to be very pleasing.  The wavy texture and slight curve make this toy feel somewhat fuller than many 1″ toys.  This toy also has a hole in the back for an included bullet vibrator.  The vibrations can be felt pretty well throughout the toy, tending to concentrate in the base where the bullet is located.

Care instructions:
Only water-based lubricants should be used with this toy.  Cleaning can be done using with a 10% bleach solution, toy cleaner, mild soap and warm water, by boiling, or in the dishwasher (top shelf, no detergent).

Packaging:
Comes in Tantus’s typical clear plastic box with a clear tray inside that holds the dildo and bullet.  I appreciate Tantus’s simple, tasteful packaging.

The verdict:
This is a really great, simple toy that can be appreciated by both beginners and advanced users.  I wish that it was more effective in a harness, but I can overlook it on account of the fact that it is otherwise a very versatile product.  Four out of five stars to Tantus for this great toy.

<div style=”width:395px;”><table cellpadding=”0″ cellspacing=”0″ style=”border:1px solid #999;background:#fff;width:100%;” ><tr><td style=”padding:10px 8px 0px 8px;” colspan=”3″><div style=”width:377px; height:1px; font-size:1px; float:none;display:block;padding:0; margin:0; line-height:0px;”></div> <div style=”border-bottom:1px solid#e0e0e0; float:none;display:block; padding:0; margin:0;”><div style=”float:left; padding:2px 0 0 0; margin:0;”><a style=”border:none; text-decoration:none; float:none;padding:0;margin:0;” href=”http://www.edenfantasys.com/dildos/strap-on-dildos/elements-omega#pcode-6T2″><img alt=”product picture” style=”width:100px; height:100px;float:none;padding:0;margin:0;border:1px solid #e0e0e0;” src=”http://edenfantasys.com/100×100/Sex_Toys_TAN5074.jpg&#8221; ></a></div><div style=”margin:0 0 0 113px; float:none;display:block; padding:0;”><div style=”overflow:hidden; float:none;display:block;padding:0;margin:0;”><a href=”http://www.edenfantasys.com/dildos/strap-on-dildos/elements-omega#pcode-6T2&#8243; style=”float:left;padding:0;margin:0;font-size:17px; font-family:arial; color:#690; line-height:20px; letter-spacing:normal;font-weight:normal; text-decoration:none; font-stretch:normal; font-variant:normal; font-style:normal;”>Elements Omega</a></div><div style=”float:none;display:block;padding:0;margin:0;font-size:12px; font-family:arial; color:#666; line-height:15px;letter-spacing:normal;font-weight:normal; text-decoration:none; font-stretch:normal; font-variant:normal; font-style:normal;”>Strap-on dildo by Tantus</div><div style=”float:none;display:block;padding:0;margin:0;font-size:12px; font-family:arial; color:#333; margin-top:12px; line-height:15px; letter-spacing:normal;font-weight:normal; text-decoration:none; font-stretch:normal; font-variant:normal; font-style:normal;”>Material: Silicone</div><div style=”float:none;display:block;padding:0;margin:0;font-size:12px; font-family:arial; color:#333; background:url(http://edenfantasys.com/Images/Contributors/outside_review/safety/safety_white.gif) no-repeat 40px -153px; padding-top:4px; line-height:15px; letter-spacing:normal;font-weight:normal; text-decoration:none; font-stretch:normal; font-variant:normal; font-style:normal;”>Safety:</div><div style=”float:none;display:block;padding:0;margin:0;height:33px;width:260px; font-size:1px;”><div style=”padding:0;margin:0;font-size:13px; font-family:arial; color:#333; font-weight:bold; margin-top:10px; float:left; line-height:16px; letter-spacing:normal; text-decoration:none; font-stretch:normal; font-variant:normal; font-style:normal;”>$41.99</div><div style=”float:right;margin:10px 0 0 0;padding:0;”><a href=”http://www.edenfantasys.com/dildos/strap-on-dildos/elements-omega#pcode-6T2&#8243; style=”float:none;padding:0;margin:0;background:url(http://edenfantasys.com/Images/Contributors/outside_review/icons/icons_white.gif) no-repeat 0 0; font-size:12px; padding-left:26px; font-family:arial; color:#f0c; text-decoration:underline;line-height:15px; letter-spacing:normal;font-weight:normal; font-stretch:normal; font-variant:normal; font-style:normal;”>Buy from EdenFantasys</a></div></div></div></div></td></tr><tr><td style=”padding:12px 0 12px; width:38%;”><div style=”float:none;display:block;padding:0;margin:0; width:130px; height:15px;”><div style=”padding:0;margin:0;float:left; width:12px; height:15px; font-size:1px;”></div><div style=”padding:0;margin:0;float:left; width:34px; line-height:14px; font-family:arial; font-size:11px; color:#333; letter-spacing:normal;font-weight:normal; text-decoration:none; font-stretch:normal; font-variant:normal; font-style:normal;”>Rating:</div><div style=”padding:0;margin:0;float:left; width:80px; height:13px; background:url(http://edenfantasys.com/Images/Contributors/outside_review/levels/white_levels.gif) no-repeat -16px -16px; font-size:1px;”></div></div></td><td style=”padding:12px 0 12px; width:31%;”><div style=”float:none;display:block;padding:0;margin:0;width:104px; height:15px”><div style=”padding:0;margin:0;float:left; width:14px; height:15px; background:url(http://edenfantasys.com/Images/Contributors/outside_review/icons/icons_white.gif) no-repeat -2px -37px; font-size:1px;”></div><div style=”padding:0;margin:0;float:left; width:37px; line-height:14px;font-family:arial; font-size:11px; color:#333; letter-spacing:normal;font-weight:normal; text-decoration:none; font-stretch:normal; font-variant:normal; font-style:normal;”>Vroom:</div><div style=”padding:0;margin:0;float:left; width:50px; height:6px; margin-top:5px; background:url(http://edenfantasys.com/Images/Contributors/outside_review/levels/white_levels.gif) no-repeat -30px -9px; font-size:1px;”></div></div></td><td style=”padding:12px 0 12px; width:31%;”><div style=”float:none;display:block;padding:0;margin:0;width:107px; height:15px;”><div style=”padding:0;margin:0;float:left; width:20px; height:15px; background:url(http://edenfantasys.com/Images/Contributors/outside_review/icons/icons_white.gif) no-repeat 0 -18px; font-size:1px;”></div><div style=”padding:0;margin:0;float:left; width:28px; line-height:14px; font-family:arial; font-size:11px; color:#333; letter-spacing:normal;font-weight:normal; text-decoration:none; font-stretch:normal; font-variant:normal; font-style:normal;”>Bee:</div><div style=”padding:0;margin:0;float:left; width:50px; height:8px; margin-top:3px; background:url(http://edenfantasys.com/Images/Contributors/outside_review/levels/white_levels.gif) no-repeat -40px 0; font-size:1px;”></div></div></td></tr></table></div>
product picture
Strap-on dildo by Tantus
Material: Silicone
Safety:
Rating:
Vroom:
Bee:

July 21, 2009

Dildos: An Imitation of the Male Penis?

Posted in 1, Gender Politics, Queer Politics, sex, Sex Education tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 12:02 am by Femme Mystique

As a mostly woman-identified queer person, I have at several points battled internally with the idea of using dildos for partner sex.  Identifying as a lesbian places one in a very unique place with regards to heterosexism.

Upon coming out, early lesbian friends of mine shunned the dildo as a representation of the male penis.  “If I wanted a penis, I could have the real thing,” they chided.  Upon further analysis, however, I found this to be a very androcentric and problematic statement.

Havelock Ellis, a nineteenth century sexologist, originated the idea that lesbian sex, especially with the use of sex toys, was an imitation of heterosexual, penis-in-vagina sex.  This androcentric analysis places an extraordinarily higher value on the penis versus the vagina, with emphasis on imitation rather than pleasure.

Without  a doubt women can experience sexual pleasure from sex without the involvement of a penis.  I propose then that dildos are not by default phallic representations, nor in contrast are they necessarily yonic.  They are, in their purest form, merely instruments of pleasure.

I’ve never seriously wanted to be a man.  Sure, I think it might be fun to try.  Sure, I sometimes wish I could gain the privileges that come along with being born into a male body.  But overall I am content with the biological sex into which I have been born and the gender which I choose to present.  I don’t think that my use of sex toys threatens either of these things in any way.

July 2, 2009

Top Five Most Wanted: July Edition

Posted in 1, sex, Sex Toys tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 2:54 am by Femme Mystique

GL9658_5
1. Treeze Ribbed by Don Wands – It’s a wood vibrator. Oh my god.  OK, I’ve never used a wooden toy, but I’m sure it’s awesome-tastic.

SE457140_4

2.  Melody by California Exotics – OK, I don’t generally like California Exotics products.  I don’t generally like “rabbit” vibrators.  Still, there is something captivating about this one.  Maybe because it’s so unlike what I think of when I think California Exotics.  Made of 100% silicone.

10719BEY

3.  Beyond Euphoric by Jimmyjane – This is not a toy, per se.  It is a fancy schmancy lotion made by a sex toy company containing beta endorphins, yum yum!

July 1, 2009

Book Review: Good Vibrations Guide to Sex

Posted in 1, sex, Sex Toys tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 1:49 am by Femme Mystique

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What is it?
The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex is a 300+ page mega resource of sexual knowledge from the Good Vibrations company.

Who is its target audience?
All people who are even remotely interested in sex.  It deals with sexual issues of males, females, young people, seniors, people with disabilities, sexual assault survivors, and everyone in between. The book is written in a way that is humorous and accessible while still providing a ton of information. Did you know that vibrators were invented in 1869 to treat “hysteria” in women, which was thought to be the womb’s reaction to sexual deprivation. Doctors would use the vibrators to produce “hysterical paroxysm”, known today as an orgasm.

How is it laid out?
The book is separated into 20 chapters, each with several subsections.  The chapters are:

1.  About Good Vibrations
2.  Sexual Self-Image
3.  Sexual Anatomy
4.  Sex Over a Lifetime
5.  Communication
6.  Masturbation
7.  Lubrication
8.  Creative Touching
9.  Oral Sex
10.  Vibrators
11.  Penetration
12.  Dildos
13.  Anal Toys
14.  Fantasies
15.  Books, Magazines, and Videos
16.  World Wide Web
17.  S/M and Power Play
18.  Where Sex Toys Come From
19.  Safer Sex
20.  Censorship

These chapters are sprinkled with illustrations, the most helpful being a comparison of aroused and unaroused vulvae, circumcised and uncircumcised penises, and how to put on a condom.

Is it queer-inclusive?
Good Vibrations has been diligent about including queer sex issues in this volume.  The illustration of fellatio, for example, shows two men instead of a heterosexual couple.  Similarly another image shows two women using a double dildo, which appears to be the Nexus. The book also lists many good resources for queer people and touches on using toys for gender expression.

What is the quality of the information?
There is a lot of great information contained within this book, with the only real glaring error I could find being the suggestion of wearing two condoms at once, which is a very unsafe idea. Besides this statement, the rest of the safer sex chapter is exceptionally well written.

What about toys?
This book is several years old but gives a nod to some classic favorites such as the Hitachi Magic Wand, Rabbit Pearl, Wahl, Eroscillator, Nexus, Fleshlight, and the Tristan anal plug. It refers to cyberskin as one of the “latest” innovations in sex toys. It has helpful information about the maintenance of sex toy materials and unique ways to use these and other similar toys.

Is it worth it?
Absolutely. I don’t think this book was intended to be read cover-to-cover, but it is a well organized go-to manual for many sexual questions or new ways to spice up your sex life.


product picture
Book by Anne Semans / Cathy Winks
Format: Paperback
Publisher: Cleis Press Inc.

June 29, 2009

Sex Toy Review: Orion Bottle Rocket by Evolved

Posted in 1, Sex Education, Sex Toys tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 2:53 am by Femme Mystique

Bottle Rocket Packaged

Bottle Rocket in Hand

Bottle Rocket Spoon

The Orion is an amazing discreet vibrator from Evolved Novelties.  Orion is my second Evolved toy, and I was very impressed by it.  I loved the wide ribbing and the compact size, as well as the fact that it was made of a body-safe plastic.

Read my full review here.

June 26, 2009

Confessions of an Ex-Catholic: Sex and Guilt

Posted in 1, Gender Politics, sex, Sex Education tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 4:58 pm by Femme Mystique

Religion and mainstream media have ingrained in us very disturbing attitudes about women and sexual pleasure.  If we as women like sex too much, we’re slutty and whorish.  If we don’t want to have sex or don’t enjoy the sex we’re having, we’re uptight, frigid bitches.

It has also been taught to us that we are not the focus of sex.  For many of us, receiving pleasure is a source of guilt–what if the other person isn’t enjoying this?  Do I look OK?  Do I smell OK?  Does my partner like the sounds I make?  And, of course, am I taking too long?

A quick internet search produced a ton of results of women who were afraid they were taking too long.  One even said her partner rarely tried, and she didn’t blame him.  This attitude is pervasive even in women who have sex with other women.  Our roles as pleasers of others too often come before our roles as recipients of pleasure.

Many women are not just not having orgasms though, they are going a step further by faking it.  An article in Slate reports that 72% of women have faked it in their current or most recent relationship.  Still more have likely faked it at least once in their sexual histories.  What causes faked orgasms though?  I speculate that it is a combination of guilt about the time we’re taking and an unwillingness to hurt our partners’ egoes.  Faking it allows us to avoid confrontation, but hinders us from getting what we want.

I wish we could free ourselves from the cycle of sexual guilt and dissatifaction.  It’s obvious that attitudes need to change, but how do we go about making those changes?

June 23, 2009

Sex Toy Review: Swirled G by WHK GmbH

Posted in 1, sex, Sex Education, Sex Toys tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 3:15 pm by Femme Mystique

F1248100

Recently I reviewed the Swirled G glass dildo by WHK GmbH.  This glass dildo has an oblong base which makes a great handle and has a nice, subtle curve for G-spot or P-spot stimulation.  I loved the swirled that twisted around the length of the toy, which felt amazing.  I also loved the price point of this toy.  Glass can be very expensive, but this one comes in at an easy-on-the-wallet $25.

I took issue with a feature I dislike about a lot of dildos, in that I felt it was overly phallic.  I prefer toys that are sexy, artistic, and female-centric.  This one is a little more generic looking, but still very functional.  Overall, still a pretty great toy.

You can read my full review here.

Sex Toy Review: Bandito by Fun Factory

Posted in 1, sex, Sex Education, Sex Toys tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 3:00 pm by Femme Mystique

FUN24308

Last week I reviewed Bandito, a harness compatible and suction cup based dildo from Fun Factory.  I thought Bandito had an amazing G-spotting curve and loved the fact that I could use it in a harness.  It is also made of Fun Factory’s famous silicone, which is my favorite because it’s so incredibly soft.

My one complaint is that it’s a little more phallic than I typically prefer.  I would have preferred something without the pronounced “head” that Bandito is designed with.  Overall, however,  I think this toy is fabulous.  I wish it came in more colors, because I don’t like purple and, as my partner put it, the black looks somewhat alien.  Still, another excellent find from Fun Factory.

Read my full review here.

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